Robin Nance, LISW-CP
1052 Gardner Road, Suite 1100, Charleston, SC 29407
843-437-5814
RNance826@MSN.com
Managing ADHD Behaviors
December 22, 2011 by
Managing ADHD Behaviors with Child Directed Interaction Skills
Young children with ADHD tend to be impulsive, hyperactive and inattentive. These symptoms can seem like misbehavior-but they are just the symptoms of ADHD. Children with ADHD do not like the symptoms any more than anyone else does. It helps to remember that THEY do not have ADHD on purpose. Sometimes it is even harder for them to understand they don’t do ADHD behaviors on purpose. The lists below describe the behaviors that ARE the symptoms of ADHD. If your child has ADHD, these behaviors will seem very familiar to you.
IMPULSIVE BEHAVIORS
- Interrupting your conversation
- Grabbing toys out of your hands
- Answering before you finish your question
- Not waiting their turn
- Having trouble waiting
HYPERACTIVE BEHAVIORS
- Running around the room
- Becoming very ‘wound up’ during play time
- Playing roughly with toys
- Dropping things
- Bouncing and Fidgeting
- Talking too loudly
INATTENTIVE BEHAVIORS
- Daydreaming when they should be listening
- Paying attention to something else when they should be listening
- Making noises when they should be quiet
- Not finishing what they start
- Forgetting what they were saying or doing
- Changing activities quickly
Many people find these behaviors annoying or irritating, so parents often want to do something to stop them from happening. However, punishing your child usually does not work. It often just upsets everybody more. WHAT CAN YOU DO?
IT’S ALL ABOUT ATTENTION
Attention is tricky because it does not matter if a particular behavior (symptom) gets negative attention or positive attention. Both kids of attention cause the symptom to happen more often. THE ONLY WAY NOT TO GIVE ATTENTION TO SOMETHING IS TO IGNORE IT TOTALLY.
ACTIVE IGNORING is the name of a discipline technique that is often the best way to deal with ADHD behaviors. If you actively ignore these behaviors, every single time they happen, you can decrease how often they occur. ACTIVE ignoring is not easy.
One reason that ignoring is so hard is that when you ignore something that used to work well at getting your attention, things will get worse at first. It is a law of nature.
If children lose the attention they normally get when they “do” some ADHD behavior, the logical way to get back your attention is to do the same thing that always worked before, but to do it more intensely. Losing your attention is like a powerful punishment. This is the time to let your child know how they can get the attention they need, with opposite positive behavior!
HOW TO IGNORE ADHD BEHAVIORS
- Avoid any reaction to your child’s ADHD behavior (don’t look, frown or say anything related to the behavior)-act as though it is not happening.
- Once you begin to ignore some behavior, you must continue to ignore it until it stops
- As soon as the behavior stops, immediately give attention to some other, positive behavior and try to give attention to a positive opposite.
HOW TO PAY ATTENTION TO POSITIVE OPPOSITES
- As soon as an ADHD behavior stops, look at the child with a friendly look and comment on what the child is doing that is the opposite of the ADHD behavior.
- Any time you see behavior that is opposite to the ADHD behaviors give the child BIG labeled praises!
Adapted from Eyberg, S.M., Calzada, E., Brinkmeyer, M., Querido, J., & Funderbunk, B. W., (2003). In L. FandeCreek & T.>. Jackson (Eds). Innovations in Clinical practice: Focus on Children and adolescents (pp. 171-172_. Sarasota, FL: Professional Resource Press.
Got Tantrums?
December 13, 2011 by
Are you saying No, Don’t’ Stop and Quit all day long without results? We want to help you work less hard and have better behaved kids!
Take P.R.I.D.E. in your parenting skills and feel good about your hard work. Many great parents find themselves in a cycle of trying to coerce their child to listen with only increased disruptive behaviors. Many of these parents often find it hard to enjoy the time they spend with their child because they spend so much time redirecting. It is not easy to break out of this cycle without outside intervention. Our therapists act as members of your team to support you as you make small changes to increase all those great behaviors you want to see more of in your child!! We coach you ‘live-in the moment’ as behaviors occur to provide you with evidenced based skills that will shape your relationship with your child into a positive one!
The relationship phase of PCIT is based on learning P.R.I.D.E. skills:
- PRAISE your child often and be specific!!!
- REFLECT what your child says so they know you are listening!!!
- IMITATE your child’s positive social skills so they feel important and know they are special!!
- DESCRIBE what your child is doing to keep them focused on tasks longer and boost their self-confidence in their accomplishments!
- ENJOY the time you are playing with your child!
Tell them what you want them to do-NOT what you don’t want them to do!
The discipline phase of PCIT is based on consistency, predictability and follow through! This is easy to say and very hard to do in the heat of the moment when we are the most stressed!
This discipline phase, called Parent Directed Interaction, is a set of steps that allows you to direct your child’s behavior when you need to be in charge. The steps allow you to be consistent and predictable in managing your child’s behavior. The rules will be so clear that your child will quickly learn not to test you to see if you mean it!
